I get holiday breaks, so why can't CF?

       Kids stare, either in awe, shock, or even fear, as I hook up tubes to a funny looking blue thing strapped onto me. They scurry when I smile at them, embarrassed. As I begin to vibrate loudly and awkwardly, I feel as though I am creating a scene, causing people to speak louder in their conversations, or get distracted by the unfamiliar machine. Cousins, who I only talk to once or twice a year, try to make me feel better by making very awkward small talk, asking the same questions they do every year about my treatment. "So how many times do you have to do this?" or "How long does it take?" and even "Does it feel funny? I wanna try!" I do my best to keep my patience and explain, despite the fact that, especially at family events, like Christmas at my grandma's, I like to be alone during my treatments. It's hard to talk with a mouth piece in, and I don't like taking it out every 2 seconds to reply. Conversations during my treatment usually consist of me yelling and constantly asking the other person to repeat themselves because the machine is too loud.

       While my siblings ran inside my grandma's house with their cool new toys and candy, I waddled in after them dragging my machine behind me. I just want to have a normal Christmas, uninterrupted by the burdens of CF. Earlier that morning, it was hard to indulge in the joyous festivities of opening gifts, searching through the goodies hidden throughout a stocking stuffed with varieties of chocolates and sweets, like precious pearls in piles of sand. My lungs were relentless with coughing, dry heaves, and soreness. I didn't even get to sit through Christmas mass, surrounded by beautiful decorations that my mom and sister helped set up, without having to step outside to get a drink and release a fountain of who-knows-what into the toilet from my mouth.

       Cystic Fibrosis doesn't take holiday breaks unfortunately. While I'm sitting at home, excited for the upcoming holidays, CF lurks, ready to strike at the most inopportune times. Not even unexpectedly, either. For example, I know I have to do treatments. When it's the weekend or breaks from school, it's ideal to do 4 treatments a day. This interrupts so many things, including hanging out with friends and family for extended periods of time. I also don't get to sleep in as much as others, if at all. My treatments also postpone events, such as dinner or opening gifts, and we all know how impatient we get after sitting around for 1/2 hour waiting to discover what can possibly be wrapped in that shiny silver paper with your name on it. Doing treatments also prevents me from helping decorate and clean, which, as crazy as it might sound, kind of sucks. I mean, I don't mind getting out of cleaning, but decorating is always so fun, and if it meant not having CF, I'd clean the whole house by myself! In the winter, everyone gets sick. And I mean everyone. At one point or another, pretty much everyone in my house gets a cold, which is a warzone for germs and bacteria in my body. Antibiotics, medicines, and the good kind of germs/bacteria do their best to fight off any kind of sickness, but it's unavoidable. This creates a wonderful time of constant coughing, congestion, and kleenex. And I'm always tired. Who wants to be tired and sick at Christmas time?! It prevents me from contact with family members and it just drags me down.
     

       The holidays are supposed to be a great time, and they are! Unfortunately they're also a time to help me remember that even in the best of times, no matter how loving my family, no matter how expensive the gift, no matter what kind of food is on the table, I will always have this disease. CF doesn't take holiday breaks, so I guess I can't take CF breaks.